If Tomorrow Never Comes
by Lodi
Summary: Reorganized & updated. This is a story about Grissom, mostly. What he wants out of life. As a significant part of his life, Sara is a significant part in the story as well. So this is a story about them.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the CSI characters.

Authors Note: Thanks to suggestions from reader's, I have decided to reorganize the story. So here it goes...

Summary: This is a story about Grissom, mostly. What he wants out of life. As a significant part of his life, Sara is a significant part in the story as well. So this is a story about them.

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* * *

If Tomorrow Never Comes...**

Gil Grissom was on his way out the door of the Las Vegas Crime Lab when Sara came striding in from the opposite direction.

"Griss, I need to tell you something," she said by way of greeting, her tone insistent but not urgent.

Grissom looked at her with sympathetic eyes but answered, "I have to get to a decomp on the outskirts of town."

She looked at him. "Bugs?"

"Yeah. But we'll talk later." She looked down at her hands which had clasped together in front of her stomach in a nervous gesture, and he touched her arm. "I promise."

She gave him a small smile and nodded without saying a word.

* * *

After shift, Grissom had gone home to his townhouse, started making dinner for two, and waited for Sara to come. That was around 11AM.

At 12:15 he checked his watch again. For good measure, he checked the other clocks in the kitchen. Sara had not come in yet.

Meanwhile, the food was extremely well done, and no longer recognizable as anything edible. Grissom sighed as he looked done at the charred remnants of his dinner, but he was not really concentrating on the dinner at present.

Just then, his cell phone rang, startling him out of his thoughts.

"Grissom…What do you mean, what happened?...Where is she?...I'm on my way."


	2. Chapter 2

Sara had been gathering evidence of a murder on an upper floor of an old apartment building when someone started fire to the building. An eyewitness from across the street saw the suspect run out of the building and get into a beat-up, rusted station wagon. Flames shot up inside some of the ground floor windows and the apartment dwellers exited the building. The fire department arrived in time to save the building and found Sara along with several others passed out from smoke inhalation. All of those found were rushed to the hospital, except for an old couple who had died quietly in their sleep from the smoke.

But all of that seemed so inconsequential at the moment, as Sara's closest friends sat in the waiting room of the Desert Palms waiting for the slightest indication, the smallest sign of life…


	3. Chapter 3

Around three in the afternoon, a doctor came out to the waiting room, and looked around at the small group of expectant faces. "For Sara Sidle?"

The group nodded in unison.

"I have good news. Looks like they're gonna pull through just fine."

"They?" Warrick asked looking to the others, seeing that the word choice had not escaped the other's notice. Doctor Robbins and Jim Brass looked at each other, each clearly puzzled.

"Yes." The doctor nodded, oblivious to their confusion as he checked a medical file he had carried in with him. "Ms. Sidle and her child."

"Child?" asked Catherine, a bit incredulous, and she glanced at Grissom who had been sitting slightly apart from the group with his head in his hands. At the mention of a child, Grissom raised his head, clearly stunned.

The doctor seemed to take notice of the collective befuddlement.

"From her medical file, Ms. Sidle recently found out that she was about eight weeks pregnant. She'll have to monitor her pregnancy more carefully for the next few weeks to decrease the risk of miscarriage, but by all indications, the child should continue to develop just fine."

The group sat in silence for a moment, taking in the news. A few of them glanced at each other, the same question in all of their eyes. Grissom remained silent and rested his head in his hands once again.

"Can we see her?" Greg asked, breaking the silence. Beside him, Nick nodded.

"I'm sorry. She's resting at the moment. I can only allow for family visitation at this time," said the doctor.

Grissom lifted his head out of his hands. "May I see her?"

"Mr. Grissom—"

"I heard you," he interrupted as he stood up. "Only family. I—I'm the baby's father."

Everyone in the room stopped, unable to move, and stared at Grissom. The doctor looked at all the stunned faces before nodding and moving to lead Grissom to Sara's room.

Grissom began to follow but stopped at the end of the waiting room and turned to Catherine, who stood with her mouth slightly open in shock.

"I'm going to be a dad," he spoke softly.

Catherine choked out tears and smiled happily for him, her eyes twinkling, and Grissom continued into the hall.

* * *

When he arrived at her room, Grissom first glanced in the room, almost afraid to enter. But when he saw Sara resting peacefully in the center of the room, he walked over to the side of the bed near the window and reached out to hold her hand. His face scrunched up in an effort to hold back his tears as his thumb gently stroked her hand.

As he bent to sit down he stopped halfway as something caught his attention across the room. Grissom looked to Sara before walking around the bed. He reached up, taking down an ultrasound photo the doctors had put up.

He stood there, just looking at the picture for, although it did not depict a whole lot at the moment, somehow was able to illustrate his whole future. Truth be told, as soon as he had entered the room, he had forgotten about the baby, his main concern at that moment being Sara. But seeing these photos, not only reminded him that he was going to be a father and completely responsible for another life, but it also served to remind him just how special his connection was to the woman resting beside him. And although he never once took that connection for granted, he was finding new perspective on his life and Sara's role in it.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sara's eyes begin to flutter and he turned his head toward her and went to her side, again reaching for her hand. As she opened her eyes fully, she turned her head slightly to regard her visitor.

A single tear streaked his face, and he held up the ultrasound picture for her to see.

"You wanted to tell me something," he said gently, a soft smile playing at his lips.

Sara gave him a small smile. "Promise."


	4. Chapter 4

Several weeks later at the lab, Gil Grissom sat behind his desk, finishing up his paperwork when Jim Brass knocked on his door and made him look up.

"Hey, Gil," he started quietly. "Mind if I come in?"

"Not at all, Jim." Gil indicated the chair across from him for Jim to sit down. "Something up?"

Jim entered, looking along the walls, taking in the odd assortment of bugs and embryos floating in jars before slowly seating himself in the chair. Gil watched his friend with wonderment.

"Naw, not really. I—I guess I just wanted to come and see you."

"Oh." Gil nodded, mostly to himself, not really knowing how to respond and hoping Jim would continue on his own.

After a moment of awkward silence, Jim blurted out, "So it's true, what they—I mean, you're, um…" Jim lapsed into silence, unable to finish his thought.

"Yeah, I am," Gil responded after a moment, understanding what Jim was trying to ask.

"And Sara?"

"Yes."

Jim nodded his…acceptance? understanding? defeat? Gil didn't know and thought that all were equally applicable.

Another moment passed and Jim looked up at Gil once again. "Well, then…I'm truly happy for you, both of you."

Gil made to interrupt him, but Jim cut him off.

"Really, I mean it. You two deserve this. I, ah—I'll see you around." With that Jim got up and Gil stood up with him but could only watch as his friend exited in silence.

* * *

Later that day Gil Grissom entered his townhouse; his shoulders were slumped over in fatigue, as he walked into the living room, putting his briefcase on small table in the corner of the room. He let out a breath as he glanced about the room, taking it in as if he were observing a crime scene, a quiet sadness reflected in his eyes.

Seconds later, two arms encircled his waist as he felt Sara's face press against the back of his shoulder, and he smile in spite of himself.

"You look lost."

Grissom looked down at her arms holding him, and he turned around within her embrace, looking into her deep brown eyes.

"Not lost," he said quietly. He stood quiet a moment before continuing, "Jim came into my office today."

In less than a second, concern clouded her eyes. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, fine," he soothed. His hands began to rub her back in assurance. "He just—I mean…"

He looked away. "I don't know what I mean."

Grissom faced her again and gave her a small smile. Sara continued to look at him even as he lowered his gaze to her slightly rounded stomach upon which he delicately placed his hands. Sara placed her hands gently over his.

"Have you told all of them yet?"

"No, I haven't. I don't even know how Jim found out. I've only talked with Ecklie about it, although I'm sure Ecklie had to discuss it with the sheriff…"

She nodded her encouragement, and he let out another sigh.

"It's just tough. I've spent my entire life this one way, maintaining this objective barrier, trying to keep myself from, from the rest of the world…"

"I know."

"You ruined that for me," he told her with a smile.

She grinned widely at him and brought her forehead to rest against his.

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

He chuckled quietly in response.

"Besides," Sara continued, "you called me, remember?"

"I wouldn't forget."

For a moment, the two of them just stood their in each other's embrace, silently appreciating the other for bringing so much meaning and depth to their lives.

"So what're we going to do, about Jim?" Sara broached awhile later.

"About all of them, you mean. I guess... guess we'll just have to tell them, explain our decision to them."

"Yeah."

Her voice had been barely more than a whisper, and he pulled his head back to see her eyes glistening. He brought his hands up, gently cupping her face, and softly wiped his thumb across her cheek as her tears began to fall. He placed a tender kiss on her lips and pulled her against his chest where they rocked each other until they were both too tired to stand any longer and went to bed.


	5. Chapter 5

"So does anyone know what this meeting is supposed to be about?" Nick asked as he entered the break room where most of the others had already gathered.

"No," Catherine, Warrick and Greg all said in unison. Catherine and Greg were sitting around the table, while Warrick stood by the counter. Brass was there as well, but kept mostly to himself in the corner of the room as if in a trance, silent.

Sara and Grissom arrived shortly Nick with Ecklie in tow. The group looked up as they entered, and Grissom attempted a small smile before notice Brass in the corner of the room. Sensing Grissom's uncertainty, Sara reached over, taking hold of his hand and giving it a small squeeze.

Regaining his resolve, Grissom started, "I suppose you're all wondering why I asked you here?"

In the corner, Brass seemed to come partway out of his trance and looked up at Grissom. The movement did not escape Grissom's notice.

"Sara and I, we, ah—we decide to resign from the lab."

This had everyone's attention, and all was silent.

"Why?" Greg blurted out.

"What he means is you two don't have to quit your jobs to have a child," Warrick chimed in, giving Greg a soft glare. "Sara's going to be taking her maternity leave soon anyways. There are ways here to balance both. I mean, Catherine's been raising a child as a single parent working here."

"Yeah." Grissom had the distinct feeling that Nick had just spoken because not speaking was beginning to become grating to him.

"And we are definitely aware of those options. It's just—"

Sara interrupted him. "Look, we don't want to leave you guys, but we've all been put in dangerous situations on this job. And I didn't grow up in the greatest of circumstances."

Grissom glanced at her, wondering how much she was going to reveal, but she gave him a reassuring look before continuing.

"I never pictured myself a mother. Five months pregnant, and I still have a hard time picturing it. But I know what I want for this child, and what I want for the future. I can't honestly say that I can give this child everything he or she deserves while I'm working here.

"My career has been my driving force and my life for as far back as I can remember. It kept me going when I had nothing to strive for personally. And now I have that personally."

Her voice had quieted the more she spoke and her eyes had become misted. Remembering that he still held her hand, he gave it a soft squeeze.

"Okay," Catherine managed to speak at last, her voice catching in her throat a little. "So I understand now why Sara's resigning, but you, Gil, why? The lab's been your life's work as far back as I've known you?"

Grissom looked at her, and then noticed how Brass had perked up slightly, giving him his full attention.

"That's true. The lab had been my whole life, but that's changed. Having made this incredible commitment to another human being, Sara, I just…it has enriched my life so much and has brought greater meaning than I'd ever imagined.

"Sara mentioned before how dangerous this job can be, and quitting it won't eliminate the dangers of life, but it will decrease them. I never dreamed of this chance to be a father, and now that it's here, I don't want to mess that up."

Silence permeated the room once more.

"So, that's it?" Greg asked quietly, hurt evident on his face.

"We'll both be staying on until I take my maternity leave," Sara offered.

"So, the two of you are just gonna stay home all day with no way to support yourself? I mean, I know you two were the champions of overtime, but this job doesn't pay that well."

"Sara will stay at home with the child at first. I'm going to be taking up a position as a professor at the University of Chicago."

"Chicago? You're moving, too? What's wrong with Vegas?" Catherine asked. "You could get a job teaching at any university. Why not stay in town?"

"This has gotta be the worst day every," Greg said to himself, staring at the tabletop.

At this point Ecklie spoke up. "Look, it's going to be a big adjustment to make, so to make the transition a little bit easier, I want Catherine to start taking over some of Grissom's supervisory duties as their departure date draws near."

Catherine looked from Grissom to Ecklie.

"Catherine, you'll be taking over Grissom's position once he leaves. I'm already looking into finding new recruits so you won't be short-handed."

Having said his piece, he looked about the room uncomfortably, awkwardly shook Grissom's hand and left.

Shortly thereafter, Greg and Nick stood up at the same time and, with Warrick following, left the room.

"They haven't even left and Ecklie's trying to replace them." Grissom heard Warrick mutter as the threesome turned down the hall.

Catherine remained were she sat, stunned, and Grissom turned to regard Brass who had returned to his trance-like state, slumped in the corner. He watched as Brass seemed to come to some kind of decision, got up, and left without saying a word.

Catherine stirred then, bringing Grissom's attention back to her. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Sara's head turn towards Catherine. She had seen Brass' exit as well. Together, they watched Catherine stand up and walk up to them. She placed a hand, each on one of the pair's shoulders.

"You do what you gotta do." Then she left, too, and the silence that came over the room held such a definite and finite note.

"I miss them already," Sara said softly beside him.

Grissom turned towards the door the others had exited.

"Me too."


End file.
